水曜日, 2月 01, 2006

Is this beef?

as i wait for the rice to tanak, i felt like typing about a subject that i was mulling over this lunch time. i am not a pedant (shut up, the neon), probably not to this extent, but when i speak / write english i try (hard) not to sound like a non-erudite half-wit.



i know, fair enough, people have to learn, but seeing cringeworthy words like enjoice (it is not a word, i frickin' checked!) makes me want to commit ritual disembowelment. i confess i don't use words like inspissated and ululate in my day-to-day dealings, especially in my conversational manglish, but come on lah! i just wonder how people the likes of nads cope.

grammatical faux pas seen in our rojak english that gets my kambing:

"...i went home to collect my stuffs."
"The staffs at the department..."
"Band tu sucks lah."
"They are sucks." (uttered almost in the same breath)
"How much? Alaa... three quids aje."
"Are you enjoice?"

"Gigs yang berlangsung di Paul's Place dianjurkan oleh..."
"Tension lah kat dia. I was so pissed." (note the unintended connotation?)

s seems the most well-loved letter of the alphabet, ain't it?

but i think the cherry on the cake is the word outcountry which i saw on an actual (malaysian, mana lagi?) website today. wanna guess what it meant? no prizes, man.

reminds me of this story of a chap who worked at the malay college dining hall in the 80's, chastising some boys who went into the hall a little early. he wasn't all that bright and said these words in earnest:

"Eh, see the clock! What the time points!"

at least his tenses were correct.